As I sit here holding my little blessing from above I cant help but realize at how blessed I truly am. Thanks to facebook and the world of everything being on the internet I, like everyone else, facebook stock people. Now I dont do this for the intent of finding out dirty secrets or maliciousness I merely want to know what makes those people that I have considered friends through social media who they are today. What has caused these people to be the persons that they are. Many of my friends have had their fair share of trial and tribulation but they also have had their happy endings and unconditional love. It amazes me those who can take a bad situation and make it wonderful. How they can see the good in everything. This last year has been quite the ride. Many days I felt like it wans't worth it to continue on the the way things were. So here is the story of this year....
Well lets start before just a little bit. In July of 2012 we found out we were expecting our first.
I was over the moon with joy and so excited because I had been waiting for this moment for years and we had been trying for almost 2 years. Things continued normaly until my husband decided that he wanted to change his profession a little bit. I thought why not. He was pursuing his life long dream and I was ecstatic for him. Well no sooner had he started he was offered a job and found out that he would be gone for 6 months. That brings us to this year 2013.
My wonderful husband left for Boise in January. And I started the crazy hours of tax season 7 months pregnant with out a husband at home. The first three months were pretty easy. I was so busy working 10-12 hour days that it didn't really hit me that my husband was gone and he also was able to come home every weekend. In the middle of march my husband had one week off. That's right only one week. That just so happened to be the week of my due date. As scheduled, I was to be induced on monday and the hubby to leave Saturday. Everything went according to plan. Evangeline Mary graced us with her presence at 2:12pm (which is my birth date). Labor was great things went well and she was healthy. But keeping her body temerature was an issue. But if you know me you know that that is nothing out of the ordinary....I'm always cold!! After 2 days we went home and started our new life together as a little family.
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This is the first family picture we had taken.
I didn't want the typical shot of mom in the bed with dad standing next to the bed
and the baby in their arms because
i'm just a little vain I didnt want a picture of me looking
like death warmed over as my first memory as a family. |
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| Death warmed over picture... I hate it but here is proof I had this baby LOL |
By this time things were not as I had planned. This little creature that I made had high bilirubin levels and had to be on the lights. This meant she was to be attached to a machine that provided light to her body all day everyday.
And Dr. appointments every day to draw blood from her little tiny foot. I was exhausted. In trying to let my husband get the sleep he needed before he had to leave for three months to do the most physically, mentally and emotionally draining training he has ever done I stayed up with the baby all night and with her all day. I slept on this little tiny love seat
or the floor so that the machine, that was not quite mind you, was not in the bedroom so that the daddy could sleep. The worst day in or marriage came on Saturday when this man that I love had to leave me for almost a month before he could come home. He left me with a newborn baby who was not getting better and may have to be hospitalized if things didn't start looking up. He was not able to call or text me once he was there and to top it all off I was headed back to work because they needed me there and were drowning in work.
Now I must say here that I'm not super women as many may think. I am a regular woman who wants the best for her family and is trying to strive to live as Christ would.
Now back to the story.... after he left I just sat there crying wondering what was I going to do next? The days went by and things started to slowly get into a routine. This little baby of mine that was so small was the biggest power of love and help that Heavenly Father knew that I needed. He knew that I needed her as much as she needed me. There were many nights where I would rock her to sleep and just look at that little tiny face and cry because she was my solace and she was my comfort in time of need. She was the one things that I could hold on to when there was nothing else physically for me to grasp at. She was my rock since my husband was gone. Fast forward a couple weeks and things started to slow down and become the new normal. The new normal of seeing daddy only on the weekends for a couple hours each day while I worked through tax season with baby in tow. We made life work for the time being and we were able to press forward with faith knowing that things were going to work out some how and that we would make it through.
I look back now at this experience 8 months later and I can truly say Im so thankful that things happened the way that they did. Heavenly Father knew that I needed to prove to myself that I could take care of things all by myself and put the needs of my husband and baby before my own. I relied on Him so many times to provide comfort and peace and reassurance that I could do anything when I put Him first in my life.
Now working full time and so thankful for the time that I got to spend with my baby all by myself and that we have the relationship that we do.
She is my world and I love her to death and I love my husband to death because distance really does make the heart grow fonder. Now you know my story and why I am the way I am. Hopefully this will help you to see what makes me tick and what this experience has done for me.
May we all be a little kinder to those around us and realize that the're fighting a hard battle too and that
God is molding them into the person that
He wants them to be little by little, trial by trial and blessing by blessing.
